Legislative Program Facilitator: A Time For Civil Discourse
Denise Driehaus, President of the Board of Hamilton County Commissioners, former Ohio State Representative, and NICD Legislative Program Facilitator, wrote the following op-ed as a model for what civil discourse and disagreeing better can look like.
The lessons of this piece, and of the civil discourse permeating her service, offer real insight into how all of us can chart a better course in our politics. Thank you to Commissioner Driehaus for contributing her words and actions to stand against political violence and incivility.
“I disagree. You clearly do not know what you are talking about.”
“I disagree. Help me to better understand your perspective.”
Which of these two approaches promotes common understanding between two people who disagree, and moves the conversation to a productive end?
We have all been thrust into a national and local conversation about violence, about conflict, about understanding, about how we choose to disagree with one another. We have reached a crisis point where we are talking about political killings.
Cooler heads need to prevail, and that starts with all of us. We are all part of the conversation.
The space for public reaction to these events is no longer relegated to elected officials or people in the news. Social media changed that. We all have the ability to weigh in.
It is a responsibility that feels fraught. Will we be misunderstood or villainized? Should we engage?
Civil discourse is a tool to help us engage in a meaningful way.
Civil discourse demands active listening – by which I mean actually listening to the other speaker with the intent to understand rather than simply waiting to respond – so people who hold wildly different ideologies can better understand one another.
Civil discourse means you have to be okay with not winning the argument. It means changing from a posture of debate to one of conversation.
When we understand one another, we begin to appreciate that someone who disagrees is not stupid or ill-informed or morally deficient. Rather, they are informed by the same facts but have formed a different opinion, and that opposite opinion has merit. It is a starting point for common understanding and a dialogue about where common ideas might exist.
When people disagree on something broadly, often they can agree on some smaller aspects of the difficult issue. To do so, we must be willing to take the time, to give others the time, to talk it through. We must be willing to provide grace to people who hold different views.
It starts with us. With everyday conversations about national events, on top of our local issues such as safety in our neighborhoods, affordable housing, youth violence, mental illness, addiction – you name it – with these conversations, we need to be civil, active listeners.
These topics and issues are complex, and difficult. But we can solve for them through mutual respect for all voices and a recognition that diversity of thought promotes smart, thoughtful and comprehensive reform. It promotes collaboration over disagreement, it promotes unity over division.
In civil discourse there is no room for judgement, for name calling, for making fun of others. There is only room for understanding which leads to progress.
I know that some will say (and have said) this approach is naïve, pollyannish, or not based in reality. I have found that it is the only way to move out of our corners and create a space for a genuine exchange of ideas instead of the alternative.
It is time to reset the narrative, to change the conversation and listen. We must move forward, together.
As President Lincoln once said, “I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.”
Denise Driehaus is the President of the Board of Hamilton County Commissioners and is a Legislative Program Facilitator for the National Institute for Civil Discourse.
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About NICD, the National Institute for Civil Discourse
NICD works to build the nation’s capacity to engage our differences constructively. In 2011, the University of Arizona created NICD after the Tucson shooting that killed six people and wounded another thirteen, including former Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords. In the weeks prior to the shooting, Congresswoman Giffords was already in discussion with the University of Arizona about creating a center that would focus on improving the quality of discourse. The galvanizing power of that event brought together founding honorary co-chairs George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton and an impressive bipartisan group of other leaders to honor Congresswoman Giffords’ vision.
NICD’s State Legislative Program is one of our most important programs that creates and strengthens bipartisan relationships through mutual, trust-based, and effective communication in state legislatures around the country.
NICD offers Americans a variety of opportunities and resources to engage differences constructively at https://civildiscourseinstitute.org/.
